Something sinister happens when you make participation in a precept a graded affair. Suddenly, people stop listening and start leapfrogging over each other. Speaking becomes a competition. If you're quiet or timid, you're left behind.
I was assigned to lead the discussion in one of these precept groups this week and the topic was the spiritual practice of careful speech, as exemplified by the early Christian ascetics. The juxtaposition between the atmosphere of a usual precept group and what we were learning about was too rich to ignore, so I decided our group should practice what we were learning about. I set out some guidelines. Waiting five seconds after someone has finished their thought before you jump in. Asking yourself if what you're saying is worthwhile. Try to listen and not simply formulate your own response while another person is speaking.
As a group, we failed miserably. We couldn't wait five seconds. But we did start to learn.
I found myself watching people when they spoke instead of flipping through my notes. I watched some of my classmates mentally count to five before giving a thoughtful response. There was more silence and along with it, more space. We were, if only slightly, a little less burdened.
Best of any songI have so much hope for what I heard. I watched future church leaders talk about how best to lead bible studies. I heard extroverts process learning to be patient while waiting for others to speak.
is bird song
in the quiet, but first
you must have the quiet.
-Wendell Berry, A Timbered Choir
Sometimes God only needs five seconds.
Wow. Well said. Our Lifetree discussion tomorrow is "the art of listening" - something I need to practice better somehow. Love your thoughts. xo
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